Do you struggle with nailing down your priorities when you’re planning? So many excellent options, coupled with New Year’s resolutions can sometimes lead to overwhelming expectations and unrealistic commitments.
Kate Stacey, Diocesan Collaborative Ministry Lead: Lifelong Learning, and Becca Faal, Diocesan Strategic Lead for Safeguarding Training and Learning, are running an event to help us unpick some of the expectations we put on ourselves and support us as we refocus our lives on the bigger picture.
Kate said, “Prioritising what is most important when all choices are good options is something that often puzzles people. How do we make good choices? Becca and I both realised the importance of discerning priorities and wanted to help others to do the same.”
‘Run the Race’, is a led day retreat taking place on 11 January from 10am to 3pm. It is structured so that attendees have plenty of time and space for reflection.
By the end of the day, participants are encouraged to leave with practical next steps, such as scheduling intentional rest, prayer, and joyful activities into their calendars.
Kate explained: “The day will have little bits of input, then big chunks of time. We encourage people to bring their journals and diaries, and they can talk with others, or walk the grounds, whatever helps them process.
“As the event is at the start of the year, it gives people the chance to get on top of their diaries before the diary gets on top of them. Our diary dictates our values, and I would like people to go away from the day feeling like they are in control of their diary; they have all of their leave marked down, they have key moments for times of reflection and prayer penned in.
“I’d like people to treat these moments like a funeral, or something vital that they would never dream of missing.”
A central part of the day will be adopting the idea that learning to say ‘no’ can be just as important as saying ‘yes’ when it comes to living a balanced and meaningful life.
Kate noted: “The inability to say no can lead to burnout and frustration. I have had experiences with chronic illness and burnout from not saying no when I should have.
“Saying no is also not just about self-preservation, but about empowering others. If I say no, somebody else might be really pleased that they could say yes. Saying no makes us more collaborative and reminds us to rely on others.”
Another important element of Run the Race is the concept that choices rooted in joy and values are sustainable.
“When we decide what we should be doing, we should choose things that bring us joy. It’s hard to be creative and joyful when we are exhausted and overworked, so we should prioritise the joyful things.
“Matthew 11:28-30 says: ‘Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.'”
One of the tools Kate uses is the ‘bell jar’ analogy. Kate explained:
“Rocks represent vital priorities like relationships and rest, while gravel and sand symbolise lesser tasks.
“Fill the bell jar with sand and gravel first, and there’s no room for the rocks. Start with the rocks, and everything fits around them.
“The bell jar isn’t always the same size. Some weeks, it shrinks, like when you have two days out of your usual routine. Recognising this helps us adjust our expectations.”
As you go into the new year, consider adopting these principles of Run the Race. Identify your ‘rocks’, those non-negotiable priorities that align with your values. Practice saying no to sand and gravel commitments that don’t serve your well-being. Finally, remember that the sky won’t fall if you say no. In Kate’s words, “There is a redeemer, and it’s not me, and it’s not you.”
It’s open to everyone, lay or ordained.
Book your place on Run the Race at https://gloucester.anglican.org/event/run-the-race/.
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