As part of our season of vocation, this week we speak to Vicky Falvey who will be one of eight people ordained deacon on Sunday 29 June. Vicky will serve her curacy in St Mary’s, Fairford.
Vicky is married to Luke who is also a priest and they have two children, Phoebe, 4 and Thomas, 2. We talked about her sense of God’s faithfulness through times of pain and times of joy.
Vicky was just 16 when grief struck with the death of her mum’s partner, Lloyd. Then nine years ago Vicky’s brother Alex also died.
Vicky said, “Dealing with grief was the worst thing ever. There have been times when have I questioned God – asking why something is so hard or why something happened. When I was at my most miserable, God surrounded me with people who encouraged me and were able to speak into my sadness with the hope of their faith.”
When Lloyd died, Vicky found solace at a Christian festival. “This was where I had my first tangible experience of what I know now to have been the Holy Spirit. I felt a strong, warm embrace with a visual picture of me being held by God the Father. In that moment, I felt so loved, secure and seen.
“I think when you are grieving, you feel you have nothing left to lose and when you are sad you are more fragile, more willing to see what else there is and how you might be changed.
“I sensed God saying to me “Get good at death” which felt like a weird thing for him to say. However, as the years have gone on, I’ve developed a growing passion for seeing funeral ministry and pastoral care done well. God has taken my brokenness and is nudging me to use it to help others.
“God has been faithful to me since before I can remember. He is that consistency in my life and the hope for the world. In a world which is not flourishing right now, he is still that hope and assurance that everything will be not just ok but beyond beautiful.”
Vicky says that her sense of calling to ordained ministry has been a slow burner. She has worked in both schools and churches, been a teaching assistant and launched a discipleship year programme in Marlow, Oxfordshire. She explains why she felt called to ordination.
“In my journey of faith, an inner sense of peace is a big thing for me. In my prayer life and my church life there felt almost an ‘unpeace’ about what I was doing as a role. A few people said to me “Hey, I think you should be ordained” and I said “nah, I’m alright thanks!” but actually that nudging didn’t go away. As soon as I started exploring it for myself that deep peace began to really settle onto me and I stepped into it, rather than away from it which I’m really pleased about.”
Watch: Vicky’s story
“The thing that’s stuck with me, my whole vocation journey is something Bishop Robert said about being a priest:
“‘We are broken people in a broken world, but serving a fully formed and beautiful God.’ That’s the message of hope that I wish I could stand on the rooftops and shout out, that I want everyone to know because of the transformation it has had on my life and on millions of lives.”
Being a clergy couple brings challenges. Vicky said, “Thomas was born at the end of my first year of training. I’d be in lectures during the day, planning to work on assignments when the children were in bed, but then with sleep regressions they might not be in bed until 9pm, by which time you’re too tired to start. There were times when I was feeding Thomas and typing away at the same time, but I’ve learned we are all juggling different things.
“Having children has only grown that passion within me to make sure that when I’m in ministry, wherever I’m serving, it’s a place that anyone can feel welcome, from children to people over 100 years old.
“As a family, our biggest priority in life is to love each other and love God. We trust that God’s got it – if he’s called us, we faithfully serve him and go where that goes.
“I started this journey not having kids, but I’m really glad that we didn’t either put off the journey of vocation or put off having children. Doing both at the same time has only enhanced my sense of calling and with the wonderful support from the diocesan team, from friends, from family, from colleagues, I know it’s been the right decision.
“Go with it, take the nudge, take the prompt, have the conversations, it will only hopefully grow that calling even further. The true hope that God brings has impacted my life beyond measure and beyond words.”
If this story has sparked something within you, speak to your local priest to talk through your sense of calling or visit the vocation pages of the diocesan website –>
Please hold everyone approaching ordination this season in your prayers. 2025 Ember Card
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