When J and A from Toddington fell in love later in life, they knew they wanted to commit to one another by getting married in a church. They found a warm welcome at St John the Baptist Church in Elmore after finding Elmore Court as a suitable venue for their wedding breakfast. Ahead of their wedding, planned for this summer, J shares her story of coming back to church to remarry.
“Many years ago, I lived in a lovely village in my native Yorkshire with my first husband and our children. Sadly, the relationship deteriorated and became increasingly abusive. I was an active member of the church serving on the PCC and running Sunday school at different times. When, in 2010 after our youngest child turned 21, the marriage finally ended, I found it excruciatingly difficult to attend any of the services or church events despite my previous deep involvement. I felt the stigma of being a separated woman although the congregation were supportive, it was new, alien and unexpected territory for me. I was bereft. It was a very upsetting time resulting in me staying away from the tight-knit church community for many years. Eventually, I left the area altogether and moved to Gloucestershire to be nearer my children. I tried but failed to find my place in my new home parish.
“Ten years ago, I met A through my work. He had been recently widowed, and I was struck by how lovely he was. We lived in different parts of the country then so just kept in touch occasionally by letter, always promising to meet up when time and location allowed. Eventually it did – six years later and after I had moved south! We realised quite quickly that we wanted to be together forever but spent a few years getting to know each other and our respective families more thoroughly before getting engaged.
“We have quite a large combined family and wanted our wedding to be a real celebration, so we looked around for a venue that would be suitable. We found Elmore Court and thought it would be perfect, although it was fully booked so we put ourselves on the waiting list. We weren’t in too much of a hurry as I had to wait until after I had recovered from major surgery. The day after I had come out of hospital, Elmore Court called to say they had a cancellation and offered it to us. It was such good news, we were delighted.
“I had hoped to find a venue that was linked to a church – because even though it had been a long while since I’d been to church, my faith was still strong. We felt a church was the right place for us to make our commitment to each other as, for us, it would give our marriage service more gravitas. It is something we take seriously, especially as we have each experienced difficult, albeit different, losses.
“When we visited Elmore Court, they told us about their links with St John the Baptist Church and put us in touch with the Revd Richard Martin. As soon as we stepped in, we both knew it was the right place. We received such a lovely welcome.”
The couple have attended six services at St John the Baptist, which is what you need to do if you’d like to marry in a church that is not in your own parish. After the wedding, the couple hope to connect to a church more locally to them but hope to return to Elmore for occasional services too.
“It is hard to attend as often as we’d like as we don’t live close by, but we love going and always get a warm welcome. A’s love and being connected with Elmore have both helped me in my healing process. For me, the perfect church is one in which a person feels as though they’re being held warmly in their grandmother’s bosom – that real, comforting love that is so precious. That’s how Elmore church and all its people have made us feel!
“Both of us have had quite major health problems since we met, so we always try to make the most of every day we have. We may be a couple of crocks, but we thoroughly enjoy life and are very much looking forward to celebrating our love with family and friends to whom we are most grateful for all their love and support during our respective difficult and challenging years. Our wedding is a new beginning for us.”
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