Dr Joe Neary, a retired GP living in Birdlip, is a spiritual director and teaches on the Gloucestershire Spirituality Course. Joe uses a fictional example to illustrate what happens during a spiritual direction session.
“A woman comes to see me. Let’s call her Harriet. She rings at the door and I show her into the space that I have prepared. A candle is lit on the table. A Bible lies beside it. These things symbolize that our conversation is not simply between the two of us, but a third person is also present.
“Harriet starts to tell me about her daily journey. How she attempts to get closer to God. Only she doesn’t quite realize that what she is doing is drawing closer to God. She sees the pain and suffering in other people and is drawn to them in compassion. She rarely prays in the way that the church teaches, but experiences joy and serenity in the countryside and in woodlands. In these times she feels drawn into a profound mystery and a beauty that is beyond words. At other times, Harriet feels that she can never be good enough. She is afflicted by abusive experiences from her earlier life, some of them from her earliest childhood. This has left her with a legacy of a deep sense of inadequacy. This inadequacy, often accompanied by guilt, freezes her into immobility.
“I sit quietly, listening to Harriet as she describes her feelings, her joys, and her pain. I gently validate the serenity that she experiences in nature as awareness of God, and a profound moment of prayer. I suggest that she looks back over her day every evening to pick up such moments and to celebrate them. Equally gently, I challenge her feelings of guilt. These obstruct her journey toward the sacred. So often, I find that guilt about real or imagined sin lies behind an inability to welcome God more deeply into a person’s life. Naming this guilt for what it is can be deeply liberating and healing. And so it is for Harriet.
“The task of spiritual direction is not one of giving direction, paradoxically enough. It is more one of directing attention. Attention to those moments of the sacred in a person’s life, validating and encouraging them. Finding simple ways of deepening the sacred, such as a short consecration of each day to God, or a brief review of the events of each day, giving thanks to God for his gifts and recognising things that have prevented us from freely receiving them. Sometimes, but not always, suggesting a passage of scripture for prayer, or maybe a poem, or a piece of music.
“I often describe my ministry as ‘Realising the Sacred’ in people’s lives. Realising in two senses; the sense of recognising sacred moments, and also the sense of making real, or actualising, the sacred in our lives. At the end of our hour together, Harriet asks me to say a prayer. This doesn’t always happen. Spiritual listening is a prayer in itself but it can take place without formal words of prayer. I offer a brief prayer, summarising the key concerns of our session and offering thanks – always offering thanks – to God for his presence with us. I set a time and date to see Harriet again in six weeks’ time. This is spiritual direction.”
If you’re interested in finding out more about spiritual direction, you can contact Pauline Godfrey on ku.gr1733552583o.coi1733552583dsolg1733552583@yerf1733552583dogp1733552583" class="broken_link">ku.gr1733552583o.coi1733552583dsolg1733552583@yerf1733552583dogp1733552583
Applications are also open for the Gloucestershire Spiritual Direction Trust’s two-year course, which starts in February 2024. Deadline for applications is 31 October. Apply here: www.spiritualdirectionglos.org.uk
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I’m intrigued and curious, Joe. See you Tuesday – maybe chat about your work. God bless you. John and Miriam