Senior Connector Barrie Voyce blogs on the deep value of relationship between grandparent and grandchild, whatever their age.
Every birthday my grandad Fred would phone me up with the same question “Happy birthday Barrie-boy, feel any older?” and when I replied that I didn’t his response would be “Nah, me neither!” He was one of the single most important people in my life as a child – we spent most Sundays with him and my nan, occasionally stayed over at their house, and when my mum went out to work, he’d pick me up from school at least once a week.
I have loads of memories from my younger days, but the most significant are those from when I’d moved to secondary school. We’d spend Sunday afternoons playing on my “new-fangled” computer together, chatting away about life as we did so. When I got a paper-round after school, he would come with me, and end up delivering half of them himself, whilst I took all the money! He taught me to play golf, not because I was particularly interested in it, but because it gave me the excuse of a whole morning with him out on the course – and then lunch made by nan afterwards.
Once I’d become a man, the tables turned sometimes. He’d ask me round to help with cutting the hedge, decorating the landing, or moving large bits of furniture. As a great-grandad he loved playing with our baby.
Although he grew up in the church, his faith wasn’t really anything we talked about, although Sundays always included Songs of Praise. Even when I became a Christian in my 20s it was never spoken about much. It was only in his final years when he was in a care home that he rediscovered church – getting wheeled over the road every Sunday to join the service. Yet his love, care and compassion for me was so tangible to me. The night before he died, I had a vivid dream of dancing in heaven with him, his ailments healed and his energy restored.
When we think about grandparents and grandchildren, as we frequently are in our planning for Faithful Generations in February, it’s easy for us to imagine an elderly, infirm adult, and a very small child. The reality is that my grandad was not much older than I am now when I was born, and that relationship was just as important to me when I was a teenager as when I was 6 or 7. In some ways it was even more significant and precious. He was one of the few adults I could really talk to, about anything at all. Sure he didn’t really understand my culture, or my language, but he was there to listen, not to judge, and to show me he cared. Nothing was off limits, too deep, or too whimsical to talk about and I valued every moment I got to spend with him.
Our churches are full of grandparents – those who see their grandchildren all the time, those who live far away, those whose grandchildren have grown up, and those who don’t have any biological grandchildren, but can be spiritual grandparents in their parish. We under-estimate the importance of intergenerational relationships in the lives of our churches and individuals, not just for the children, but for the adults too. Recently a granny in one of our churches reflected on the developing youth ministry happening in her church: “It’s so lovely to see them, it just makes me feel alive again.”
Faithful Generations is a celebration of that incredible life that becomes more full when the old and the young come together – regardless of age or biology. When we do things together – learning computer games and golf from one another, sharing life and talking about Christian Faith.
Our event in the Cathedral on 1 February will be a fun and creative afternoon where you can explore Christian faith and spirituality together. There will be prayer spaces, story, activities, dance, interactive worship and more.
It’s for children aged 0-18 to bring their grandparents, or grandparents of any age to bring their grandchildren.
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